Working mother...

I am a working mother. I work full-time.

Sometimes I love it.

Sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on Jack's life and all his new things.

It breaks my heart every time I hear he does something new and I wasn't there. It breaks my heart when I think he's doing something new and I start talking about it with Jeremy or his mom and it's not new... He's been doing that for days/weeks.

Sometimes I wish I had a different job... one where I could be home more or at least closer to home. But I'm a chef. I found a job that let me work in the mornings and early afternoons. I'm lucky. I don't have to work at night... or late. I get to come home and put my baby to bed.

But I miss my mornings. I miss getting up when I hear a little voice start talking. I miss making breakfast for him. I miss seeing his beautiful smile when I walk in his room in the morning to get him out of his crib.

I miss all of that.

But I worked hard for my degree. I worked hard to know how to do what I do. I love what I do. I am a mother, but I am also a chef...

I know how hard it is for working mothers...especially new mothers. One day, I'll work while Jack's at school and I won't feel like I'm missing anything.

All that said... I miss... I MISS being home with Jack. One day, maybe I'll be able to again... until then.. I work.

:]

Mom Style...

I wish I could dress up every day in a pretty dress that my closet is full of but I can't. I have to wear jeans and plain shirts. It's a surprise if I even put on a necklace. I wore this outfit or one close to it all weekend... I love it. It's comfy and cute. :]

 Shirt & Cardigan: Target

Jeans: AE

Shoes: Toms

Necklace: Gift from mom

Bag: Joes Totes

:]

Family Reunion...

Last weekend we had a family reunion in Whimberly, Texas.  It was pretty great to see all of my family together and it not be Christmas or Thanksgiving. Whimberly is a great little town with so many fun little shops and GREAT thrifting! I can't wait to go back.

It was a great time!!

Still here...

We're still here...getting over a rough week last week.
- news about jack's hearing trouble/ears
- a wreck
- an ER visit at 9pm to 4am
- a stomach virus stricken husband
- short family reunion (so hard to say bye)
- news that my aunt is moving
- nothing really special for mother's day
- speech therapy appointments/meetings

Everyone is fine now and just catching up. Laundry is a beast that keeps growing. I wish the laundry/cleaning fairy godmother would step up for a day or two.

Now I'm off to work (it's 6:30am) and I'm hanging out with my aunt tonight then back to work!

I hope everyone is having a great week! I'll have more interesting posts soon. Updates on Jack too.

:)

Jackson's Ears...

My little man had a doctor's appointment today. He is still huge... 100% for head, weight, and height (since it's all the same % there is no need to panic that he's too big...blame Jeremy). He is right on track with everything...but speech. He doesn't say too many words or really tries to say many. He does say "bye" sometimes and he has said "outside" a few times, but it's all inconsistent. He's had an ear infection every single time we've gone into the doctor's office. When he's had a cold and we've taken him, he's ended up leaving with a RX for something for his ears. He has them all the time. So, according to the doctor, he can hear about 30-45% of what we say and what he can hear is muffled. He can't really pick up on pronouncing words. It makes sense, but it's heartbreaking. So, after today's visit, and yet ANOTHER ear infection, the doctor (and us) has decided that Jack needs tubes in his ears.

This is the first doctor's appointment that I missed. I had to work and there was no way out of it today. I can't believe I missed it. Today was a big deal. I've been beating myself up about it all day and I probably shouldn't, but I'm a mom and I can't help it. I am more afraid of the anesthesia. I can't picture my little sweet man in a hospital gown, with an IV, and being put to sleep. Actually, I can.. and I have been ALL DAY. It's terrifying. I know that tubes are that huge of a deal and that it's SO common.. but this is Jack. My Jack.

He has an appointment with the ear, nose, and throat doctor on the 24th to find out when they can place the tubes in. I will NOT miss that one.

Now I'm exhausted from worrying and crying off and on all day. I need to sleep and relax. I need to stop freaking out and know ( I do ) that the tubes will help him greatly. The 24th can't come fast enough.

This weekend will be relaxing and fun (I hope). I need it.

If anyone has any thoughts, or insight on this matter... please leave a comment or email me.
Amandamichelle_smith (at) yahoo (dot) com

Thanks!

Arcade Fire!!!

 My date! :]

Sorry about all the iPhone photos! I wasn't allowed to take my camera in. 

It was amazing! SO AMAZING!!

A photo an hour....

 5am- ugh. i hate 5am. Jeremy is asleep in the background.

 6am : almost at work. Downtown Dallas.

 7am: making muffins!

 8am

9am: specials

 10am: I really want to eat one...right now.

11am, 12pm, 1pm, 2pm: BUSY!

 3pm: Thanks for parking so close....

 3pm: Leaving work!

 4pm: Going to Target

5pm: Leaving Target.

 6pm: Going to the mall to pick up pizza!

 7pm: And play a little :]

 8pm: leaving the mall with PIZZA!

 9ish pm: someone is trying to steal my pizza....

 9ish: I opened my box from my mom for Mother's Day!

 10pm: Someone wouldn't go to sleep....

 10ish: Jack new art work from school :]

 10ish: reading books.

11pm: He always goes to bed at 9pm. Yah. He was trying to escape the bedtime. 

These were all taken on April 27th, 2011, 

on my iPhone with the Hipstamtic app.

I was up at 4am this morning to get to work really early... So that 11pm bed time the night before is really catching up with me! 

Hopefully I can sleep well tonight and work on some cakes tomorrow! 

Then ARCADE FIRE!

My super sweet husband was super sweet and surprised me with 2 tickets! I can't believe I'm going! I haven't been to a show in about 6 years. I have to find something to wear!

:]