Monday, May 16, 2011

Working mother...

I am a working mother. I work full-time.

Sometimes I love it.

Sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on Jack's life and all his new things.

It breaks my heart every time I hear he does something new and I wasn't there. It breaks my heart when I think he's doing something new and I start talking about it with Jeremy or his mom and it's not new... He's been doing that for days/weeks.

Sometimes I wish I had a different job... one where I could be home more or at least closer to home. But I'm a chef. I found a job that let me work in the mornings and early afternoons. I'm lucky. I don't have to work at night... or late. I get to come home and put my baby to bed.

But I miss my mornings. I miss getting up when I hear a little voice start talking. I miss making breakfast for him. I miss seeing his beautiful smile when I walk in his room in the morning to get him out of his crib.

I miss all of that.

But I worked hard for my degree. I worked hard to know how to do what I do. I love what I do. I am a mother, but I am also a chef...

I know how hard it is for working mothers...especially new mothers. One day, I'll work while Jack's at school and I won't feel like I'm missing anything.

All that said... I miss... I MISS being home with Jack. One day, maybe I'll be able to again... until then.. I work.


1 comment:

Little Gray Pixel said...

Thanks for this post. It's the same kind of conflict I'm feeling about returning to work from my maternity leave next month. I think my heart is going to be ripped apart every day I'm at work.